it's MY school, now

DIP 1 and DIP 2 graduated years ago from the same school DIP 3 now attends.

Dips 1 & 2 are still close to the school; help out with their concert, proctor tests, substitute, supervise late night events at the school, maintain an ongoing shiur for former classmates- you get the picture. They loved school, the administrators, their friends, and they still feel connected.

but at this point, none of the current 9-12 grades were in school when my daughters were there. So there aren't really any girls who remember their antics, tricks, songs, or class' personality.

I commented on this to Dip 3 this evening, as she was going to her Chanuka Chagiga. I asked, are Dip 1 & 2 going? Do they remember any of the girls from when they were in school?

Dip 3 kind of proudly stated "uh-uh. Their high school classes all graduated already. Now it's MY school."

I always thought she was quite independent and confident with who she is. I still think so. But I didn't realize how much the specter of her older sisters overshadowed her connection to her school. which is now really HER school.

YBS updates

So he is actually making soup in his crockpot!

YBS went to the local Shoprite and bought loads of vegetables. Second trip. First time he made soup and told me it tasted like bland tap water. Which was the main ingredient he put in the soup, plus half a parsnip, one onion, and a carrot. Second time around, he added squash, cauliflower, onions, potatoes, as well as carrots and parsnip. That soup came out great and he shared it with about seven guys.

You heard right, SHARED IT.

As in, "Would you like some? Here! My pleasure to GIVE you a bowlful."

Woah- I didn't scream at him but I loudly exclaimed,
Me: What on earth? Didn't you want to make some money? Didn't you want to have a new food angle? Didn't you want to sell some soup? Didn't I give you some moolah to buy veggies to make soup to make a profit??!!

YBS: Come on, Ma, I can't sell SOUP. It's like, not a choshuv zach. It's just vegetables! and Water!

Me: You sure can, buster! And chulent? is Just Beans! and Potatoes! And bad stomache aches later on!

YBS: it's just stupid soup!

Me: Oh, and Woodstock was JUST a concert?!?

YBS: ??? Huh??

Anyway, he is trying to diet. He told me he is getting all the bread they serve for lunches and suppers in whole wheat form. Like, subs, shwarma, etc? His will be whole wheat. And Shabbos rolls? His will be whole wheat. So of course I am already thinking, uh huh, whom did you have to pay off for this? But turns out the guy who has the food/haircut markets pretty much does the whole wheat request for free.

YBS is also trying to lose some poundage. He told me there is a treadmill in the dorm!

Me: Great! Can you go on it whenever you want?

YBS: Sort of. See this guy bought it and never uses it, so he charges $1 per use, or $10 from off shabbos to off shabbos.

whatever. He is shteiging, he is happy, he is trying to diet, and I am funding his learning about capitalism

Hierarchy

YBS is always looking to make money. He just doesn't have opportunities or a very specific skill with which to earn.

In the yeshiva world, or dorm life, opportunities abound:
hair cuts
chulent maker
make chulent
drive to mechel's and buy chulent for everyone
buy kugel
hair cuts

of course there are seasonal things:
sell arba minim. usually a boy whose male relatives are already selling, so he has stock without shelling out his own money.
Purim Shtik. I need a whole post for THIS nonsense. But usually a boy who has a car, and on his way to or from Mechel's or Meal Mart, stops off and buys shtik.
Chulent seller/maker. Always the season for Chulent!!


So we were discussing his options this past shabbos.

YBS: I gotta do something, I need money for stuff
Me: Uh, How about hair cuts?
YBS: nope, AL already gives haircuts.
Me: So? 70 Bochrim is a lot of hair, isn't there room for you, too?
YBS: Stop, ok?! It's not a big deal, I am new in the yeshiva, I don't have to make trouble. Maybe when AL leaves.
Me: okay, I can't believe I am suggesting this,but how about Chulent? get a crock pot and you're all set.
YBS:Some guy already does it, he sells it on Thursday nights.
Me: So? 70 Bochrim is a lot of stomachs, and appetites, isn't there room for you to make, too?
YBS: Ma, what are you doing? these guys already do it, I can't just come in and sell whatever I want!
Me:?? why not?? What good is living in America and Believing in Capitalism if you don't have a little competition? And isn't Chulent Cook leaving Pesach Zman?
YBS: yeah, but AL (the barber) is taking over.
Me: WHAT??!? This is NUTS! the hair cut guy has a MONOPOLY and the rest of you are COWED into simpering unmotivated zombies who just get hair cuts and fress chulent and DON"T EVEN PROTEST!

YBS just stared at me. "I don't get this goyish zachin your sprechen about. It's no big deal.
Me: Okay, so how about making....soup! You can be the soup guy!
younger brother: Oh, soooo cooool. The guy who makes so-oop. slurp slurp yum yum. maybe he can do everyone's nails, too


However, .....YBS bought a small crock pot at Target and when he got to Yeshiva he made himself some vegetable soup.

Slurp slurp, quite good

OFF SHABBOS!!

YBS is coming home tonight. Yay!! Lots of new terms I never heard of. And laundry and shopping and trips to Mechels and Shacharis at Chatzos in New Square.

I am excited, kind of miss his unique presence in the house.

Stay tuned

I Have the Wedding Cramp

Literally.

I get this painful cramp in my right hip whenever I go to a wedding. It usually hits around the time I am dancing in the old lady circle with the mother of the chosson/kallah. We do that shuffle thing, which now I have perfected to just dragging my shoes along the floor so I don't have to exert any effort by actually lifting my legs. Or there is the two step kicking thing:
two right kicks to the front,
two left kicks to the front,
jump forward,
jump backwards,
run to the left!!

or the other popular one, but THIS one can go on for a good twenty minutes. When this dance starts I pray it is a wedding where the chosson kallah aren't into dancing (ha ha) and the music will be a short set. This dance is the hora. But not a fun leaping around type, the
right foot forward
left foot forward
box step
right
left,
cherkaziya, or whatever that step is that we learned 35 years ago at Bnos Melave Malka that has not changed one step...

That is when the cramp sets in. Shooting bolts of pain. And did you notice that the dancing is 99% of the time going clockwise? so two wedding in one week and that is a very long and painful workout on my right hip. Or upper thigh. And there isn't even a hip muscle to get firm from all that shuffling and kicking.

Of course for me this is all exacerbated by the upside sweaty hand holder. Sweaty palms are uncomfortable, and the upside hand holder is unpleasant. They are both awful, but combined, sheer agony. And at the last wedding I went to, I got the death grip, too. So here I am dragging my feet during a painful shuffle, searing burning pain in my hip, and the women on my left and right grabbing my hands, upside down, with their slimy sweaty palms, dragging me along because their grips are like those of someone falling off a 20 story fire escape, definitely not letting go. AND this time I had a first experience with one of the upside down sweaty palm grippers, it was totally gross. She interlocked her fingers in mine, kind of like alternating her fingers with mine. Excuse me, lady, we are not newlyweds strolling on the beach. I glared at her and removed my hand, not gently. yich.

What an experience

I Try to Feel Only Simcha....

I have developed a love/dislike relationship with OnlySimchas.com.

I used to think it was SSOOOOO yentish, and would once a week furtively glance at it, quickly scrolling down to see any names I recognize, getting my fix. reading it in one breath, like Haman's sons in the Megillah.

Then I decided, hey! What's to be embarrassed about??! I was able to call old and forgotten (for a reason) school friends and wish them mazel tov, and casually say when they asked how I knew,
"I saw it on only Simchas!! What a clever website, perfect for us busy people who like to take a quick glance and have the opportunity to catch up and wish congrats to old friends!".


Okay, I don't say that. Quite like that. More like, "saw it on onlysimchas! I love it, great way to to know what's happening!"

Then I used it to see girls I used to know when they were younger, like former babysitters, former neighbors, former acquaintances. Quite convenient.

Eventually it evolved to seeing the names of girls and boys we know. Like my daughters' friends. The best way, of course, is to turn on the computer at midnight or later, when most people are sleeping or groggy, and then shriek while crashing into a desk or piece of furniture, shouting out "G-U-E-S-S- W-H-O- G-O-T E-N-G-A-G-E-D-!!!" At first everyone would come dashing down, because the fun is in seeing the name in print. Except for my husband, who would come crashing out of whatever room he was in (this always happens when he is falling asleep) yelling , "what happened? what fell? what's going on?!" Of course then we have to come up with a good reason as to why we
1. woke him up
2. had to shriek
3. are reading this totally gossip website


Now when it is my DIP's friends, we often know before it is online. But not always, and there is usually a lot of joy. And of course when see when some young clean shaven *boy* who graced our dining room table with small talk gets engaged. And then when they get married. And then when they have their first baby. And maybe their second (not quite, yet). We don't keep tabs, or anything, but we just notice.

Now it is still exciting, and fun, but a little hard sometimes. When we see girls just back from seminary on the list. Or boys whose names we recognize because it was mentioned but they were never available, listed as engaged to a girl who is 19. I really do feel happy for them, because it is the will of G-d and bashert, and everyone will find their zivug. It just tugs, a little.

I'H it will come!!


BTW, I know you can build a bnb. but can you be a source of nachas to yourself??

12, 292??

12, 292 hits??


Come on you people, if you are really looking at this, at least comment! Even if you find it incredibly dull and repetitive!!

Dry Spell

Having one now.

We are quite parched, searching through the dunes, trying to find some nourishment.

Okay a bit corny. But I have noticed that this is the term women use when discussing with friends the absence of phone calls for their shidduch age daughters, "we're having a dry spell right now".

Are boys* having a torrential downpour? Gale of sorts? Raining buckets?





*When are they called men? When they are financially independent? Shaving more than once a week?
And "girls"?!?
My mother recently attended her 50th high school reunion, this is how she spoke about it:

"Wow, I just spoke to the organizer, 73 girls are coming!"
Me: That's amazing. How many girls can't come? (maybe it's past curfew)
Mom: Well, 11 are dead. 3 are in wheelchairs, two are nursing sick husbands, and one we can't find. She disappeared.

I would have said, maybe she is in the mall, since girls can get lost there, but I thought it might be disrespectful



and as usual, the end of my post has nothing to do with the title.

The Pillow of Education

YBS told me that life is different now when raising kids. This 18 year old had a long, frank discussion with his equally wise and world weary 18 year old cousin, and they decided together that:
Parents used to use the Board of Education, now they need to use the Pillow of Education.
If you want your son to do something, don't tell him. Make him think HE wants to do it.


I really shouldn't complain or make fun. Here is my older teenage son telling me how he wants me to be a good parent to him.

Time to sleep on those boards, gotta put my pillows to better use.

Yeshiva World today presented a Kol Korei from the Rabbonim declaring boys should marry girls close to their own age, or even older, to help solve the age-gap-shidduch-crisis-issue.

Brilliant.
This is how I read into it:

Don't let girls date or marry before they turn twenty. This way they will have earned some money, or begun their schooling, and are closer to finishing a degree and increased earning power.
In turn, it puts less of a strain on parents to help support sons-in-law in Kollel.
In addition, post seminary girls have more realistic obligations and have experienced the realities of juggling school, jobs, and social activities to have a better understanding of commitments and realistic expectations of what life can throw at you.
Therefore parents may actually have two or three children marrying within a few years without the father mortgaging to the hilt and having a heart attack at the 3rd child'sTano'im.

Brilliant! or, duh, extemely obvious.

This actually might also lead to less of the following experience I just had with a potential shadchan.
She called me to suggest boy for one of the DIP's. He is learning, will do so for a few years, then wants to go to grad school. Sounds great! Responsible! NORMAL! But this is how the conversation went:
Shadchan: So this guy is really into his learning, serious about his chavrusos and zmanin, he is just realistic about the future!
Me: sounds great to me
SH: But the mother says she has 100 names and they are all the same
Me: don't worry, my DIP's are different (like really, what SHOULD I have said? mine are the 101st and 102nd of the same??)
SH: The girls who want someone who is only learning get upset that he has a BTL and even talks about going for a Masters, and the ones who want a guy who will work aren't serious about his learning, and don't really want to support him for a few years!
Me: (in a magnanimous (I have no clue why this is now underlined) voice) well, you know, girls panic or aren't sure of what they want, and
SH: no, no, my point is, he is the TYPE to really learn for a long time, but he is very REALISTIC as to the REALITIES of life, and he wants to have a parnossa but he wants a girl who REALLY wants someone who is learning, but he HAS to go to school, but REALLY he is into his learning...

Why is everyone so darn apologetic? Just say it like it is! He is learning and will have a parnossa.


Oy vey

Gmar Chasima Tova

Let's hope this year H'Bhu will answer all of Klal Yisroel's tefilos.

And next year at this time I will be blogging about my sons-in-law

Hello out there, she's MY kid, too

Well, we don't have the guys yet, but I can tell you that when we do, and we are making a wedding, my name is going to be on the invitation with my husband's. None of this "rav so and so U'reiso".

that isn't tznius, it's just plain idiocy. If it is untzniusdik to write down the mother of the daughter's name, then it shouldn't say Mr. and Mrs. , but just Mr. and Family. don't even write Mr. and Wife. The connotations are too vulgar. And the monogram shouldn't have the initials of the boy, girl, and last name all entwined and mixed together. And I think the word "kallah" in "simchas Chosson V'Kallah" should be left out. People might start to envision a beautiful bride in a flowing gown.

And the whole Badekin thing should be completely obsolete. Let them do the checking thing out in the hall with only parents watching. Do you see the way those boys prance between rows of women?? To be honest, I am even wary about writing this, lest someone claim it is already banned. I can't quite understand why in the frum world it is still allowed.

I think when teaching about who is buried at Me'oras Hamachpela, children should be told "Adam U'reiso" and so on. And Kever Rochel? Should be referred to as "kever achos shel aishes Yaakov". Let's protect our children from exposure to women's names.

That's why I call my daughters DIP1, DIP2, etc.....

There is a new aspect I don't like about the whole dating/shidduch scene. Not new, but newly realized by me.

Our beautiful bnos yisroel are expected to develop a meaningful relationship after 3 or 4 dates. With an absolute stranger. And if it doesn't work out, and the girl is lucky enough to have a "list", a week or two later she begins developing another meaningful relationship.

You know what? this is wreaking havoc on girls' emotional state.
Even if the boy is boring, ugly, and self centered.
Even if the girl says no.
Even if it ends before it ever leads anywhere "meaningful".

Kudos and Mazel Tovs and yay for those who marry the second or third boy they date.

And I am not whining about girls who have been dating for ten years,
or girls who are negative,
or girls who have unrealistic expectations.

I am talking about girls who have full, busy lives, who date in order to meet their Eizer Knegdo.
They are becoming emotionally exhausted.
I do not mean girls who think it is tragic that they aren't married at 22.
I mean girls who find it hard to share everything with a boy or with their parents because it is the same old stuff.

can someone please tell me a solution? but serious, well thought out options, please.
I KNOW the system stinks, so no complaints. just positive suggestions.

Then maybe I can try to implement some of these new ideas for DIP 3. who isn't yet in the parsha.

Talkin' Tough Does the Trick

I don't like to admit in public that I am a Vos iz Neias lurker, but I do read their news sometimes. And this article would be a wonderful read for the Obama administration, and, quite frankly, most Americans who continue to believe you can be accomodating and negotiate with Arabs.

http://www.vosizneias.com/35601/2009/07/24/

don't you just love his comment about his public relations skills? Ah! Israeli confidence!

I think some parents would do well to adopt this policy with their kids. A little backbone sometimes is helpful.

I Can See the Chemistry!

Overheard in a store:
two young women said hi to each other. One looked at the other's baby in the carriage and said,
"Oy! He is REALLY cute! And he Mamish looks like your older daughter! I really see the chemistry!"

I am not sure if the problem is that:
1. when they first heard the expression they weren't paying attention to the way it was said, and subsequently every time they use it, it is incorrect,.
2. they have no idea what chemistry is or means
3. they are like a lot of people in this neighborhood who don't know how to use the English language properly.

YBS could give them lessons. And he has been in camp, so no good conversations with him. When he is home he sleeps.

will wonders never cease

YBS received a 100 on hisHebrew regent.

and reminded me that he received a 97 on his English regent.

L'maisa, his language skills are nicht ganz gefairlach. He apparently has a very klor understanding of the l'shoinois around him. We're taka, feeling an aliya!!

The Evolution of Terms

YBS cannot define these terms for me with language I understand. So please help me translate:

a harry

tuna beigel

a yoily (I know it is Satmar, but I still don't get it. Every chassid you think is Satmar you say Yoily?

more to come, meantime, please contribute your own (not a YBS phrase)


and this newer thing of using "sick" to mean amazing? like

"I got a sick grade on my Regents"
"oh, man, that is one sick piece of kugel"

The Ceremony

YBS will be graduating high school in a few weeks.

Cause for celebration.

I asked him if his Yeshiva will be "doing" anything.

"Sure! It's going to be the Giving Back the Cell Phones Ceremony"

I am thrilled with that, since at least two good ones from the DIP family are in that box.

Padding the Numbers?

I recently put a counter on this blog. Kind of hopeful that there are way more people reading than commenting. I started the number at 100 (I think, if I remember correctly) because I assumed that at least that many people have looked at it since I began.

Now I am beginning to wonder - should I have started it at 1000? I mean, I am not trying to compete with any other blogs, but is it possible that some blogs which only began a few months ago already have 6,000 hits?

I am quite glad for the blog that has had 400,000 hits. That is half a million, people!! Awesome, great for her! Any mathematicians out there? for a two year old blog, half a million hits, that is like 540 hits a day. Is that actually possible? wow.

or are there so many people out there (you young ones, I expect) who check the same blog many times in one day?

fess up, people!
1. if you have your own blog, what was your starting number for your counter?
2. How often in one day do you view the same blog?

Cool Zachage vs. Intriguing Object

YBS has been home for two full weeks. At first I noticed that he seemingly is incapable of having a conversation with complete English sentences. Lots of he's and it's repeatedly so we lose track of what's going on, sprinkled with too many zachages and l'maisas, and a liberal dose of stam's and l'choiras, and most of the assembled guests were lost. I pulled him aside by day three of this verbal slaughter and had a conversation with him.

DIP: Listen, honey, we need to have a conversation about how you talk

YBS: grunt or snort

DIP: I mean about how you talk when trying to have a conversation

YBS: huh??

DIP: LANGUAGE! LANGUAGE! the language you use when you talk to us!

YBS: Nivel peh is ossur

DIP: (sigh) and I am proud of your awareness of that. I meant the limited English vocabulary you use when you talk.

YBS: L'maisa you get it, no? whatever, the exact lashon isn't the ikur, it's, like, I don't have to be So medakdek. Anyways, everyone has some yeshiva connection, they know the lashon, it's like, ...

DIP: that is not the point. You (here I launch into one of my favorite speeches) represent Torah, a Yeshiva Bochur, and you want people think highly of you. You wouldn't walk around with a stained white shirt, would you? It's not bekovodik.

YBS: okay, that stain was not my fault. I ran out of shirts from the cleaners.

DIP: also not the point. You cannot possibly be this dense, you are the son of intelligent people. Focus! You need to cut down on the yeshivish lingo when you talk! it sounds ridiculous and (trump card) Your grandparents hate it. So at least when they are here don't talk that way.

YBS: Uh, didn't Grandpa go to Telsz? The Gedoioilim (his oi's are somehow so emphasized, especially notable in our clearly non oi family) l'choira spoke that way. it's the kesher with bochrim, with the yeshivish oilam. but fine, kibud av v'aim is very choshuv, ganz choshuv. I'll be mishtadel to be mistapek more closely my words.

DIP: oh, and that's another thing. you did NOT go to a cheder, and we do not speak yiddish here. So don't even think about ending sentences with verb modifiers or whatever they are.

YBS: (clears throat), mother dearest, I understand your concern that in public I present myself as an intelligent and verbally sophisticated individual. And when the time comes, I will not embarrass you or Dad or the rest of the family by mumbling and rambling incoherent sentences that the non jewish or non yeshivish world cannot navigate. however, I am currently in a different matzav/ I mean environment, and this is how I feel comfortable communicating.

DIP: I chap! I chap! Gevaldik!!

We Have Progressed He is Independent!

A great discovery has been made about YBS!

Even though he is home, he wants to do his own laundry!

Okay, he does everything together, on warm. Guess what? He is being responsible, so what do I care??

Except the 220 thread count %100 cotton sheets I am doing separately. I have some standards.

Of course the effort will make him hungry so when everyone again meets in the kitchen at 10:30 p.m. the hunt for edibles will begin once more.

I actually made a real supper. Well, sort of real. Baked Ziti. More carbs. Just noodles. and YBS did dishes!

Someone is maturing....

But I am not yet ready for Sons in the Parsha.

call child welfare services

my kids are starving.

The fridge is so empty I can see the back and the reflections of the containers on the glass shelves.

I love it. My kids hate it.

YBS: I am staying in yeshiva, there's mamesh no Oichel and this Matzov is Geferlach.

DIP1: uh, what's for supper?

ME: (brightly) you have many choices! I have four hot dogs, two hamburgers, some buns, and when they defrost, we will know if they are hot dog or hamburger buns- right now they're a little squished in the bag. AND I found a quarter of a bag of brocoli, two breaded chicken fingers, and looky here! an ENTIRE container of Tofutti sour cream, 3/4 of a container of Chummus, yum! and TONS of sorbet. What a treat! Let's have dessert first, as a special pre- pesach treat!

DIP3: (stamps into kitchen, flops on chair) this is SO not funny! I am beyond famished and starving! I ate the sludge from the bottom of the cereal container and I don't even know which cereal it was!

ME: ho ho! It was all of 'em! I combined the cereals two days ago so I could put away the containers and throw out all those boxes cluttering up the shelf. What a wonderful shmorgasbord for breakfast! ha ha!

DIP1: what's for supper?

ME: you like salmon? right? Tada! Looks like it was already spiced, just microwave it and your gourmet meal is ready!

DIP1: (after microwaving). Uh, Ma?? I think this was the leftover lox we brought home from the bris. The stuff on it was that curly spinach? that goes under the platter? but it was stuck on with the saran wrap? So that's why now it looks shiny? what should I eat?

ME: the salmon! where do you think lox comes from?? lots of healthy fish oils in that! and spinach! Woah, just loaded with vitamins! Here, I found an extra 1/2 a whole wheat pita under the soup that defrosted and refrosted when the freezer was left open. Looks like it was onion soup, so it's milchigs! Just microwave the pita quickly and gobble it up, could get rubbery when it cools off.

DIP1: great, more plastic for supper.


YBS: (screams with delight) hey!! I found some of those Spring Valley pastry zachiges! are they fleishig? great! I can cut up the yapchik (that's what this foil is, yeah) I got four weeks ago from Mechil's and throw it all in!

ME: (Gaily) and throw in some ketchup, this breaded chicken drumstick, and the five diced pieces of zuchinni I found stuck to the bottom of the prune filling! Your feasting! Your mamesh feasting!
!


then I secretly go into my bedroom, into the bathroom, and as I muffle my voice into the towels, I call my husband and tell him to pick up two corn beef sandwiches on the way home. Yup, we are all eating well tonight !

If Ya Ain't Married Ya Don't Count

so says one of the daughtersintheparsha.

we were at a simcha this week. oldest DIP was placed with all the single girls, she being the oldest, another one post high school, and then...all the rest of the girls in high school. and a few in elementary school. lower, lower grades.

DIP says if you aren't married, you don't count, you're just stuck with the singles. I gotta agree. There was one married girl one year older than her, and another married girl her age. Each of them have two kids. And they were on the adults table.

DIP also says this is in the 'yeshivish community, a problem'. I agree again. Purpose in life post high school being....get married and have babies. So if you aren't there yet, lump 'em all together at one table - fourth grade, seventh grade, 10th grade, and 3 years post seminary.



People sit at a simcha and whine and kvetch about how "it's CRAZY how we all have to -

send our girls to seminary in Israel, what a total waste of money"

oh yeah? you wouldn't even look at a girl for your son if she didn't go to the right places.

"it's CRAZY how we all have to-
have our boys go to the best yeshivos. Some boys are WONDERFUL boys and are not top students! let them LIVE!"

guess what. some boys aren't wonderful. they don't have unique talents, they don't shine in anything, and they don't even have such great midos. A mother at this same simcha said to me about her boys "and my one yingle struggles in school, (here's the disclaimer!!) but THAT son?!? I"ve NEVER had a discipline issue with him. it is so sad, he is SO kind to his siblings and is ALWAYS mevater for everyone, but school is hard! I just know he will be wonderful because he has these EXCEPTIONAL middos"

and what if he didn't? is he still unimportant in the eyes of G-d? I don't think so.
why are we so elitist?

Finally Facing the Book and It Ain't Worth the Hype

I did it.

I joined facebook.

and I regret it already. my daughtersintheparsha say it is social networking, a quick way to keep up. I ask, why is it necessary to keep up that frequently?

In real life it isn't necessary to know the mindless drivel and idiocy and plethora of inane unimportant facts that people post every fifteen seconds:


such as:

Shprintze Yentel burnt supper!

Hocker Macher going to the post office!

Tzufloigen Hoisen lost his keys, took the spares!

who cares?

and boy does this waste TONS of time.

FIrst Emaciated, Now Slouching?

Have you seen the new Lord & Taylor catalog?

I think slouching is now a new modeling technique, or style.

One of the models is slouching in almost every picture. Not really a slouch, more of a concave body arch, like the beginnings of a collapse due to bad cramps.

Her expression kind of goes with the whole contortion.

Hello, give your models Midol before snapping the picture.

She OBVIOUSLY doesn't have a good jewish mother who yelled at her every day before she went off to high school "Stand straight! You look nebbish! What are you cowering about? Your beautiful! Gorgeous! And you need every Inch!"

Maybe she screamed back at her mother, "Oh yeah?? When I grow up and get outta this one horse town I and my Slouch are going to be Famous!"


and so it is!

Good Boy, Good Home, Good Family

Who makes that decision about what or who is good?

Is it if there are no kids at risk, no relatives divorced, no sister that dresses too trendy, no siblings in any Out-Of-NY-Schools? Who decided that those things render a family "different" "off beat" or "not good"?

Or is it a "Good" family, home, boy, because they do everything like everyone else?
Nothing out of the ordinary?

Why are we so afraid of people and families who are a bit different?


It's like an unpredictable popularity game; even if the details all look the same, you never who is going to be "in" and who isn't.

I stray today from my usual lightheated complaints to open a discussion and see what you have to say about it.

yeshiva tuitions are strangling us. Even if a family has only three children, not very common in our Orthodox world, the tuition can be, at a minimum, $30,000. If you are sending to high school, seminary, or Yeshiva, the fees go up. So a family with 5-7 children, ranging from a pre-school to seminary, post high school yeshiva, or any college (Touro, community, four year), is drowning in tuitions.

What do we do?

There has been talk that educating our children should become a community responsibility. No one would disagree.

But I suggest, or humbly ask:
Do we need SO many kiruv organizations? Do we need SO many Hachnasas Kallah organizations? How many "unique, individualized, small" new boys' high schools do we need in the greater Tri-State area? Can't these various, very important, and successful organizations combine forces?
Ah, you say, then what will all those employees with children in Yeshiva do for Parnassa?

My answer? Something else. Not in the kiruv/chinuch field.

And combine the Chinese Auctions. Or have a percentage of each Chinese Auction go to support a school in the same community.

Let's face it, when the Orphanage in Israel sends you a pad of paper, or a Kiruv organization sends you a glossy brochure of five dollar tickets, which of them is getting your money?

Do you contribute to A big famous Chinese Auction for a Yeshiva you have no connection to?
or Do you contribute for a small box of candles from a Yeshiva that has been sending out candles for decades? Have only changed the size of their box? (actually, I give them a check: for the candles, the powdered Charoses, and the esrog jam).

So there must be some way the struggling Yeshivos can cash in on the money brought in to organizations for Chinese Auctions.

YES!! I mean NO!! oops! Sorry! Move on!

A boy gave us a yes to date one of my daughters in the parsha.

We didn't get back to them quickly enough, in their opinion, so they decided to "move on".

They gave a yes Friday afternoon- late- and changed their minds by Tuesday night.

Think maybe THIS contributes to the shidduch "crisis"? Saying yes, then saying "sorry, we waited long enough and in our opinion you should have already gathered all your info, so too bad! The next unmarried girl awaits the attention of my son! Tra la and good luck!"

my favorite: They consulted with Da'as Torah who told them it was okay to go on to the next girl.

deeeep breaths...

what do YOU think? Dear blog followers, be honest, even though you are my readers, tell me if you think we were wrong (I am not even discussing reasons or excuses, I think they are irrelevant).

Thou Shall Not Lie... in Bed Shabbos Morning

Is going to shul on Shabbos morning an "issue" in your house?

I think the females should go. They don't always agree.

Should Shabbos only be about sleeping late, getting up to eat, sleeping the afternoon away, and then rousing yourself to get dressed, do your face, and go out partying with friends?

Somehow there isn't much sanctity there.

Something nice about davening in shul, hearing laining, hearing a speech, saying a whole bunch of Amen's. Without a party.

what say you?

Another Shidduch Meeting

Took place in my home over the past few weeks. Twas a rather shattering experience.

A broken window pane in a door, and a broken pane in an indoor bedroom window. The pane of glass met with a well rounded individual, who was a bit too strong minded for our more delicate nature. We are trying to mend the relationship to the tune of $130.

Will my boys ever grow up? I am not even thinking of replacing the broken storm windows until they get married. Unless they come back with their own boys and say,
"hey, see those three windows over there? Think you can aim your baseball there and smash them really hard? Like I did every summer?"